Men, Marriage, and Calvinism


Ever since I got married a little over 10 months ago, I’ve had people ask me how marriage is going. I usually say “marriage is great” or “being married at seminary is way better than being single” or “man, I’m thankful I got married”. That being said, I thought I would blog about this thing we call marriage.

Chesterton once wrote: “Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline.” Now of course, Chesterton challenged me to be a man of honour, but for some reason due to this weird tradition in the Roman Catholic Church which he was a part of, I would not be able to be this man of honour seeing as I’m in seminary. But I’m Protestant so I can become a man of the cloth as well as get married. My theology is something akin to Calvinism infused with Chestertonianism.

To illustrate my point, on our honeymoon, my wife and I ran into this Roman Catholic guy from Mexico down in Los Angeles who told us if he didn’t find someone to marry, then he would enter the priesthood. I told him to become Protestant so that he could do both. At this point we got into a theological discussion, and I didn’t get very far with challenging him that the priesthood and marriage could be wed. He was thankful for me though that I got to experience the “sanctifying sacrament of marriage.” I was thankful too.

In Shakespeare’s play “Much Ado About Nothing” (careful, it is rated above PG13), Benedict says about love “May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not.” In other words, he must make some important decisions to enter the state of holy matrimony. The decision might be to become Protestant, or just make a decision. Decisions really aren’t as hard to make as people make them out to be.

“If you like it, you should put a ring on it.” It is still a favorite one to quote. I generally don’t quote pop culture, I generally prefer advice of Chestertonian calibre. But this point from Beyonce is an important one. Once you have committed to buying her coffee and dinner once a week or how often you so choose, why not save some money and buy her a ring? It is an economically feasible thought.

I will stop bombarding you with nonsense. Of course, there are various reasons not to get married: you have the gift of singleness (a rare thing indeed), God has called you to preach the gospel to ISIS (another rare thing), or you are way to young to even start dating/courting (like 15-19). The fact is, we live in one of the most economically and politically comfortable times in world history to get married, and yet the number weddings are far too low. Let’s change that.

Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

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