I am observing an interesting internet debate from my patriarchal den here in Paris, ON. Lori Alexander wrote an article entitled: “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos” here. Phylycia responded with an article entitled: “God’s Not Looking For Debt-Free Virgins” here. Another lady, Brooke Ventura, responded with an article entitled: “Does God Require Women to be Debt and Tattoo-Free Virgins” here. I appreciated all of their thoughts.
It’s quite obvious that men have issues and women have issues too. But here’s the thing. There were many excellent women who raised godly young men throughout the book of Kings. If you notice, every time a godly king is mentioned, the text always mentions his mother’s name. But also notice that there were some interesting women who were included in the line of promise. Notice that Rahab who was a prostitute was the mother of Boaz. Boaz was that godly man who treated Ruth the Moabitess with such kindness. I don’t know if Rahab or Ruth had a debt or tats. I don’t really care. Whatever they were in the past, they became godly women.
There is this temptation to think that the calling to motherhood means the calling to be a doormat woman who is chained to the stove and is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Both from its supporters and its opponents. But there are a variety of gifts among women as there are among men. Some are avid readers, some are great with business, some are artistic. So what? Let them develop their gifts and take care of their homes with their gifts (Prov. 31, Titus 2). They should have the freedom to grow in their gifts. Strong women raise strong men. Strong women who don’t have a man strong enough to marry them, raise the bar for men and women. Men can marry career women. Every woman can go through a career change. And one of the most glorious careers is to raise children! Look at Boaz. He married Ruth who was out in the field roughing up her hands and building her muscles. And then she proceeded to become the great grand mother of King David.
I am lost in the debate over debts and tats. Godliness calls women to be faithful in their finances and the way they treat their bodies and respond to their husbands and other men around them. Repentance provides a way of escape for their foolish mistakes. The same goes for men. Virginity is a bigger deal than tats or debts (I Cor. 7). But for the loss of virginity, God also provides a way of escape. Look at the great deeds that Rahab did in saving the men and bringing down the wicked city of Jericho.
I have always been inspired by Rahab and Ruth and Jael and Deborah, and all those godly mothers and women of old. I have always been inspired by women who supported the leadership in the church in the New Testament times. I don’t know if Lydia the cloth-seller had a tattoo. Who really cares? She became a woman of God.
The problem is that women give up focusing on character and focus on appearances. It is possible to repent of that. Sure, the problem is that men also don’t look for character. For that we have to repent. This means that there is hope for every woman out there with or without tats who grew up home-schooled or in Christian school or in public school. That hope is the path of faithfulness to Jesus Christ.
Are you a woman distinguished by your deeds of faithfulness that you are doing for the Lord? Do you seek to build up the kingdom of God by pushing the men around you on to greatness like Deborah did when she rebuked Barak? Do you want to do what is right? Are you willing to enter a life-calling where you are called to be a help-meet (Gen. 2) and to submit to your husband (Eph. 5) and to raise children (Titus 2)? Then don’t worry about the tat that you got on your arm in your past. Do what is right, and if the Lord wills, He will inspire a man to lead you. Ruth did what was right. Boaz then saw what was right and lead the way.
Every man marries a woman with faults. Every man has faults. Personally, what I was looking for was a woman who desired to serve God faithfully according to His Word, could repent, and had a desire to grow. Everybody has a story. By God’s grace, anybody’s story can be headed in the right direction.